For my Grandma

Last Tuesday, my wife and I went on our belated honeymoon to Las Vegas. We had been planning for a few months and were finally ready to go.

My grandmother's health had been failing for some time, and we were able to go visit her a few days before leaving. She knew who we were, she understood we were going on our honeymoon, and she was so happy for us.

When we landed in Vegas, my mom called me to let me know that Grandma was not doing well, and that we might be receiving 'the call' and should not be surprised. I immediately shut down mentally for some time, until we made it to the hotel.

The next afternoon, my little brother shoots me a message informing me that she isn't doing any better, and, will probably not make it through the night. We were walking back to our hotel on the strip at this time. I replied to my brother, just wanting to know if she was able to speak, if she knew who anyone was. I had seen nearly all of my other grandparents fall apart at the end. My great grandmother had no idea who I was for the last 6 years of her life, and that was incredibly hard to deal with.

No more than 5 minutes later, I pick up his phone call, and all I needed to hear is "She's Gone."

With Jenny by my side, standing in a small, semi-secluded area outside of Caesar's Palace, I broke down and soaked in the pain of the loss.

My Grandma, Orla Dokken, passed away at the age of 88 years, but most importantly, she passed peacefully, and is no longer in pain.

She had 11 grandchildren, and she was so proud of all of us. We loved her as much as she loved us, and that was a lot.

Today, as I go with my family to lay her to rest with Grandpa, I hope you can all appreciate your grandparents, whether they are still with us or not. My wife has never lost anyone close to her, and it is very hard to explain the pain. All I know is it is awful, and it changes people. I have told her I do not envy her lack of losses, as I have now lost all of my grandparents, 2 of them as I was an adult. No amount of preparation could have made me ready to deal with the pain.

I am now all out of grandparents, but I am so much better because of them.

I had a dream that I could have my grandparents at my wedding. Grandma was the only one alive to watch me marry Jenny. This, for many reasons, was the best day of my life.



Thank you,
Brian

Brian,

Please accept our condolences on your loss. It does get easier to handle, in time.

What a blessing was to have your grandma at your wedding! She looks a LOT like my grandma did!

I know how tough it must have been to write this post - thanks for sharing with us.

Take care,
Dave

Brian I am sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies.

My grandfather is turning 75 this year and the only thing he asked for was a family reunion in his hometown Kansas City, MO. My family lives all over the US so I never get to see them, some I have never seen at all. I really wanted to go to this but wasn't sure financially if it was the right thing to do. After talking it over with my husband, who really encouraged me to go no matter the cost, I decided I had to go because I didn't want to regret it later in life. After reading your post, I have no doubt left on whether I made the right decision. Thank You.

Oh no... there are just never any words for things like this. <gives Brian a hug> Please know that you are in my thoughts at this trying time. I'm am so happy that you were so blessed to have her in your life.

xoxo
Debs

Brian, I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are beautiful.

Hey Johnny, sorry for your loss. My life/loss experience has been similar to yours. My parents were 18 when I was born, so I knew and was close to all of my grandparents, and three of my great grandparents. I agree with you on the life enrichment point. My sister and I were blessed with their influence on our childhoods. I also have lost all but two of them, and one is on the path right now, so yeah, I know that pain past and present. Please accept my condolences.

Rick

Brian,

If your grandmother had anything to do with the man you've become, then she is truly a special woman. I am very sorry for your loss.

Rick

Sorry to hear that. But remember that wherever she is now, she´s watching out for you, and thinking of you.

BK,
So very sorry for your loss. Grandparents leave such a big impression on us while they are with us, and they leave such a big hole when they are gone.

Sincerely,
hrg

I'm speechless, that brings back so many memories for me. I feel your loss, you have my deepest sympathies and a brotherly hug.

René

Many thanks to you all.

In the last 3 days, we had a wake, funeral, and the internment at the cemetary.

Each step was as hard as the last, and hugging the casket to give my final goodbye was the hardest to let go of.

Now that the process is over, it is time to move forward, and get back to the daily routine. Unfortunately, I am still working in the Restaurant. My training motto I give my crew is "Treat the customer how you would treat your Grandmother." It makes it very hard to get through the day with that mindset, especially when we have a very large following from the elderly crowd in town.

However the rest of the day goes, I thank all of you for your kind words, and it does help to know there are people who have been through the same sort of situation who understand the pain.

As Grandma would say
Uff-Da
Back to work
-Brian

BK-
So sorry for your loss. My sympathy goes out to you & your family.
~nj