I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this,
There's a girl with green teeth and she's gettin' kinda hard to resist.
There's a shot for me sittin' on the stage, and tonight i'm feelin my age,
I never thought i'd wind up in a lousy little place like this.
I never thought i'd play on a tiny little stage like this,
Got to do the songs and I can't figure why they ain't hits ?
I can get to first base on my looks, if I stand on telephone books,
I never thought i'd play on a tiny little stage like this.
I always thought I'd hitch up with a real purty gal like you,
But I wound up with a shrew and she's always tellin me what to do.
I'd like to ask your for a date, but I can't afford to get home late,
I guess I'll never wind up with a real purty gal like you.
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this,
Everytime we take a bow the audience starts to hiss.
I'd quit the band if I had the nerve, but I guess I'm gettin' what I deserve,
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this.
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this.
No, I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this.