Cultural question about dating

Hello folks,
since most of the members of this board are from the US, I'd like to make you this question about dating:

Thing is that here in Europe we get many American films, TV series and these days I am into a Sex In The City watching streak and it gave me food for thought; well, especially this series, but all of my life, I've always wondered about this:

What's that kind of "obsession" with dating and the number of dates and with the rules behind them??

From films and series, I kind of infer that Date 1 means something, Date 2 means this, Date 3 means that... is this true or is it just and exageration of real life taken into series and films??

Here in Spain, or at least in my case, I've never been worried about the number of times I dated a girl, we never call "i've gpt a date", just "I'm meeting someone" and things go the way they might come.

I also happened to observe this in "high-school" films, in which both lads and lassies are utterly concerned about the couple they are going to take to the dance-ball at the end of the course. Some kind of truth it in??

Let me what you think mates, I'm very very curious about this!

Thanks

Ok....I'll bite.
Sex In The City is NOT a realistic representation of dating in the US. AT ALL.

But from what you explained in your post, I would have to say the US is more "caught up" in the whole dating thing than in Spain (I can't speak for other countries--just what you explained).

Although...it would be interesting to get a woman's perspective (also from Spain) to see if they have the same perspective you do.

Maybe men in US feel the same as you do, they're just "meeting someone."

But from a female's perspective, in the US...it's a WHOLE lot more than "just meeting someone." But it sure isn't as glamorous as "Sex In The City" either.
I have a couple of 1st date rules: No spaghetti or barbeque food on the 1st date--too messy. Have to wait until I've been seeing someone at least a couple months before I'll venture down the road of eating "messy food" with them. Oh yeah....no carbonated beverages either on the first date. Water, or wine. or Jager-shots. Ha ha!

From what I know from my female friends, when they are "dating" a guy, they are not thinking if that's a date or not, just that they like him and that's it, they are meeting that person...

I remember hanging out with a girl who loved the film Grease, as I do, so when we realised we kind of liked each other, we did a bit of the dating thing, you know, knowing "we got a date on Friday", like making it more special, but it was part of the game, but because we were inspiring in the film.

Nonetheless, apart from this, it's always been pretty much like "hey, any plans for the weekend? Fancy going out for a drink?? - Oh yeah, I'd love that, call me later" and this is it, no questions like "oh, are you asking me out?" or "are we having a date?"

But thanks a lot for your reply, it's interesting though!

Funny, now that I think about it, my hubby and I never officially "dated". Lol. We just hung out all the time and became a couple. We started talking after I saw him skitching behind a van on his skateboard, then 6 months later he asked me to dance at a dance we were both at (but came there separately). After that, we were basically inseparable. 23 years later, we're still going strong.

Anyway, back to the discussion....tv and the movies are definitely not a great reflection of dating in the US. Guys do ask girls out on a date, but it's more of a high school thing. Asking someone to dinner, or out for coffee, or something where it's just the two of you is considered a date. I think the significance is there because both people know that they're going specifically to spend time with and focus on the other person. Then there's the dating exclusively thing....

I think the most important thing when "dating" is that both parties are open with their communication, so each person knows if they are hanging out, dating, or dating exclusively. It's always a horrible thing when one person thinks they've found "the one" and is under the impression that the relationship is exclusive, and the other person continues to date other people. Too many times people get hung up on the formalities of having to name what they are doing (going steady, dating, whatever...), and they miss the whole point of meeting people and developing relationships.

This could turn into a sociology research paper in a hurry!

Take care,
HRG

enjay07 wrote:

Ok....I'll bite.
Sex In The City is NOT a realistic representation of dating in the US. AT ALL.

As a fellow American, I couldn't agree more. SLP, you know nothing about the majority of Americans or their culture. I've never even heard of a heterosexual man that would ever watch Sex in the City.

Vic,
yeh, it's quite surprising that I watch that series.

It was funny when the films were released here in Spain that I had to "drag" my missus to the cinema, when, under normal circumstances, it would have been the other way round.

And going back to your reply, I know that I hardly know anything about US culture, that's why I was asking... and since this kind of "dating thing" appears not only in Sex In The City but in many many other films, I was asking if there was some kind of truth. [img][/img]

vic wrote:

enjay07 wrote:

Ok....I'll bite.
Sex In The City is NOT a realistic representation of dating in the US. AT ALL.

As a fellow American, I couldn't agree more. SLP, you know nothing about the majority of Americans or their culture. I've never even heard of a heterosexual man that would ever watch Sex in the City.

hahah youre watching Sex in the City! so... Is Green Acres realistic of Sex in the Country??

I don't know Tavo, I don't know that TV series.

I was just asking, and SITC was just a mere example... but in many other films looks pretty much the same... so, when there's a smoke there is a fire, that was my guessing and I just wanted to know it from first-hand people

tvthewiredturtle wrote:

vic wrote:

enjay07 wrote:

Ok....I'll bite.
Sex In The City is NOT a realistic representation of dating in the US. AT ALL.

As a fellow American, I couldn't agree more. SLP, you know nothing about the majority of Americans or their culture. I've never even heard of a heterosexual man that would ever watch Sex in the City.

hahah youre watching Sex in the City! so... Is Green Acres realistic of Sex in the Country??

So your telling me Green Acres isn't an accurate depiction of rural America???

I seem to recall Elvis Hitler providing a rather amusing rendition of the Green Acres theme on their "Disgraceland" LP. They put Green Acres' lyrics over the top of Purple Haze. And it fits quite well, to the point of "Scuse me, while I kiss the sky" lining up perfectly with "Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside."

Show and tell:



Not that this has anything to do with dating. But I suppose you can find out how open minded a prospective date is by telling her you want to play a song from the band Elvis Hitler, and watch her reaction. If you find a woman with an open mind and a sense of humor, then I'd say you're off to a pretty good start.

Greeeeen Acres is the Place to Be-a-billy