Setzer fiction

It appears this guy finds random photos on the internet and makes up fictional stories about them. This one happens to include Brian Setzer.

http://brettdavis.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/an-excerpt-form-the-memoirs-of-mike-nye/

Just... weird! Perhaps he's a comedy writer or something.

I don't like that guy at all.
As for Setzer Fiction.....ah, you take me back a few years to my (HOPEFULLY) FUN stories I made up about our man....here's a short one.....

Kickin' Up A Sandstorm!'
The sweat pouring down Brian's face reminded him he was due on stage in 5 years, 4 months, 3 days...but he won't be going home tonight. Setzer turned away from the blistering sun and heat waving sand dunes. The stray-Cats were far from their tins of grease and Harley customized caravan. The blond god looked at Slim Jim and Lee in the Shadows....he prefered Hank Marvin.
" Okay Cats...don't give me any Jump, jive and Wail," he rasped. " If you wanna leave this hot rod gang... I won't stand in your way."
Lee strugged his tattoo-less shoulders. Mr Bass man
had wandered round the desert in a mask of gold.
" Whatever..." he mouthed under his wicked whiskey
breath..." You're the Boss. "
Brian struted up to Slim Jim.
"Ok stick man, I admit we're lost."
Slim Jim leans back on a cactus and spikes his american butt with an assortment of pointy spikes. "wwwhhhaaaa! Come on Everybody!!!" he screams to cover his embarassment. The lanky legs buckle and his cowboy boots skid on some gravel sending the drummer into the splits. Jim rolls over quickly, jumps to his feet, coolly whipping out a dagger shaped comb and using sweat as hair grease.
" WOW!" exclaimed Setzer. " Great move...I'll have to use it on stage."
Lee, (the quiet one) had been asessing the situation. " Yo Brian! There's land ahoy!" Lee Rocker points to a Radiation Ranch in the distance. "But there's a problem."
" What ? "
" A barbwire fence and it's getting higher and higher!"
Slim Jim shook his head. Setzer lit a lucky strike in the sticky heat and then scratched his arm just under the Wild Cat.
" Alright Cats, let's go! "
The Stray Cats moved in a sleepwalk. They were hell bent on leaving the desert and that intense sun. Brian was wondering if they'd make it to the Blue Cafe, Lee was missing his girl friend little miss prissy ( and her fishnet stockings) and Mr Phantom's one desire was to stop having a nervous breakdown and leave dreamsville.
The three guys approached the fence.
There was a break in the wire.
Brian Setzer smiled, his huge quiff dancing in a shallow breeze.
" Gentlemen," he said smugly. " We're at the end of the boulevard of broken dreams. The runaway boys don't have to slip down the alley anymore!"
They entered the oasis not realising it was a mirage....the gardens were green with water fountains and thousands of spring flowers!
Lee parked his texas cowboy hat on a bench and suddenly a waiter came out of the ranch with a tray of root beer.
" AH!" he said. "Bobby's back!"
Brian saulted the little mexican.
" Let's die the rock 'n' roll way!" he said.
" Yeah," replied Lee.
Slim Jim raised his can in a toast to the Stray Cats.
" After all," he said...."HOW LONG YOU WANNA LIVE...ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!"
The End.

That was fun reading!!

Thanks Webelvis! Most of my stories are MUCH longer lol, but here's another short one....

HellBent...I'LL Drive! '

The Stray Cats piled into a gleaming brand new cadillac. Our Rockabilly heros were late for a gig with Louis Prima in Sammy Davis City....But Brian Setzer had no intenion to Rev It Up and Go....
Elvis may have left the building, but the bright lights of Vas Vegas were about to meet his heirs....and Setzer was Shakin' all over just at the thought....
Lee Rocker's feet dangled like two diced carrots out of the caddy window. Boy he loved those orange pointed boots! He'd bought them from Nancy Sinatra...and those boots were Made for walkin'....
" Yo Brian! We're cruisin ! " Lee complained as he shared the back seat with his double bass.
Slim Jim was rappin' his drumsticks against the dashboard, trying to keep in time with Gene and Eddie on the radio. " Yeah Setzer...You say slow down, but I say Go!!! Rocker's right for once...Let's go Faster, faster ,
faster!"
Brian turns the cadillac down a one way street. The night air gives him the breath of life as he stares up at the twinkling stars in september skies. " Last week we got lost and ended up Kickin' up a sandstorm," he croaked like Eddie Cochran. The King of the Cats pulled down his shades. " Now you think we can find Nosey Joe's if we drive like lightnin' !"
Slim Jim rolled his eyes. " Yeah, C'mon, this baby's built for speed!".
Lee takes a hip flask out of his leathers and proceeds to drink that bottle down.
" Hey Rocker, You upset because Little Miss Prissy missed that mystery train and she can't go back to Memphis no more?".
Lee squits his eyes like he's Clint Eatwood in an old Spagetti Western. He curses the day he meet Slim Jim.
" Whoa man...you're not my papa....anyhow, what's a man suppose to do when the blues got him down!".
The caddy is now motoring down the Highway on Route 66. There's a cop on a motorcycle hidden in the leaves around the next bend. Three cool cats whizz by his mean machine...
" Well, won't you look at that...look at that cadillac, look at that! ". The cop tries phoning headquarters...but there's something wrong with his ghost radio, so he hops on his bike, revs the engine and is soon in hot pursuit.
Lee Rocker sits up and elbows his double bass into a twangy deep growl. " Er..Cats...we're going pretty fast...
but look behind....here comes the Devil doin' 99 !".
Brian grabs the steering wheel like he's wrestling the Big Bopper. " Is he tellin' the truth, stickman?".
Slim Jim loses a drumstick out of the window. "Straight up!" he panics, his arm knocking into Setzer's stomach...winding him and making him lose control. The cadillac skids and shimmys, zig-zagging all over the highway.
The cop pulls up by the side of the car and flags them down as the sireons meow.
Leaving the bike in a dirt ditch, the cop approaches and taps violently on the window. Setzer cooly presses the electronic button and the glass slides down so the two men are inches from each other's face.
" Hi officer, do you want an autograph or something?".
The cop is well disguised in his motorcycle helmet and dark sunglasses that he wears to frighten people at night.
" Back there You were drivin' like a crazy mixed up Kid !
Jim and Lee curse under their breath.
The cop takes his shades off. " You've got Nine lives, Mr Setzer....and I've been tryin' to get that 'Blast Off' album since 1989!!!!".
Brian smiles warmly. "Well Tommy, you go back to Brian Setzer. Com. and I promise to help you review it in the mornin'!".
The End.

I've always enjoyed your stories and website Steve, rock on!

Setzer Fiction.. ooo-ooo-oooh... double feature..

Absolutely funny indeed!
A Story for each Cat would be great ;-)

Thanks Radiation!

Thanks BadKitty! Cheers guys.
I don#'t think i could write another short story now. It#'s not that my passion isn#'t the same. It#'s my tired brain that#'s worn out not my paper. lol

Very good Steve.

Pam Ayres has now left the building.

Wee Mark.

Quote :

Pam Ayres has now left the building.

Now she was a poet! Really strange accent though....
if she spoke proper no one would care for her rhyming!
Hope life's treating you well my wee friend.

'after all, how you wanna live anyway!!'

I like that one!
Lee is the quiet one?? are you sure?

Here's one for Pete, Kid and René. And me.


It was Thursday, the 26th of February, 2009. Kid, Pete, René and Andi converged on the pizza joint as planned, 3 hours before the Stray Cats show that night at the Tivoli in Brisbane. After handshakes and hugs all around, the group ordered pizzas while Pete grabbed a couple jugs of beer for the table. After pouring for everyone (and getting plenty of beer on the table in the process), Pete held his frosty mug aloft and shouted, "Rockabilly Rules!" the table cheered "OK!" with a rowdy clink of glasses, sloshing even more beer on the table. Just as the four friends took their first drink of the night, a familiar raspy American voice came from the door of the pizza joint: "Yeah! Rockabilly Rules, OK? Somebody pour us some drinks!"

Everyone at the table turned to look, stunned, as Brian Setzer, Lee Rocker and Slim Jim Phantom strutted over with big grins on their faces. In shock, René sprayed a mouthful of beer on Pete. Kid immediately started pouring a round for Lee, Jim and Brian, and Jim shouted for two more jugs of beer for the table. Andi pulled over an empty table and chairs to make room for the Cats. Lee said, "we heard our biggest Australian fans were meeting here tonight so we decided we better be here for it too."

The table was a din of noise and excitement, and other patrons at the restaurant tried to pretend they didn't see and hear the raucous party. "Wow, it's been so long - and here you are in Australia!" Brian said as he hugged Andi, then introduced her to Lee and Jim. Andi made the rest of the introductions, though it wasn't really necessary- the band knew who everyone was already from their anonymous forays onto the Hoodoo Voodoo Lounge. "You guys are some of the most "true blue" fans we have," Jim exclaimed. "Did I say that right?" Everyone laughed.

"Pete, you play guitar down in Adelaide, right?" Brian asked. Before long Pete, Brian and René were deep in guitar conversation. Lee and Kid were comparing creepers and talking about Greazefest and Wintersun, two annual rockabilly festivals in the area. Jim and Andi were swapping stories about the European tour, realizing how many times they'd narrowly missed meeting up. Andi looked around the table and smiled, seeing everyone laughing and drinking and carrying on like the best of friends.

The excited chatter continued without stop, and the beer kept flowing. Everyone wanted to talk to everyone else, so periodically someone would get up and change seats to make conversation easier. While the party was in full swing, René glanced at his watch and said, "oh my gosh you guys, it's quarter to 9!!" Everyone leapt up from the table. Brian hurriedly paid the bill and Lee rushed everyone into the limo waiting outside. The car sped to the rear of the venue, where the tour manager was waiting outside, pacing, with steam coming out of his ears. The Cats hustled the Australian fans over to the manager and Jim said, "put 'em all up front! And give Andi a photo pass!" As the Cats hurried in to the venue, Brian quickly turned on his heel and shouted to the group, "let's do it again tomorrow, same place, same time!" before ducking inside. The manager glared at each fan in turn for delaying the band. Finally his demeanor broke and he grinned to the Australians and said, "have a great time. You all deserve it."

A staff member ushered the group to a prime spot directly in front of the stage. Andi, Pete, Kid and René couldn't believe their luck and the events of the already amazing evening. With the group of friends up front hooting and hollering, egging the band on and building even more excitement in the concertgoers around them, the Stray Cats put on the show of a lifetime that night. At one point in the show Brian pulled Pete up on stage and handed him a guitar- Pete couldn't stop smiling and shaking his head as he played like a pro alongside the rockinest cat in the galaxy. Andi photographed like crazy- the band, her friends, and the rockin' crowd that threatened to shake the roof off the Tivoli that night.

The next night the whole group met again at the pizza joint for more pre-show fun. Lee produced a box full of Stray Cats memorabilia and started handing out items to Pete, Kid and René. The Cats spent the night telling the Australian fans stories about the old days, laughing and drinking. Andi made sure to take several photos throughout the evening, even pulling a waitress over to get a picture of the everyone together. Shortly before heading to the venue (with reasonable time to spare this time), Jim turned to Andi and said, "I understand you have something of your own you'd like to have signed?" In all the excitement Andi had forgotten about her old t-shirt. She pulled the 25 year old rag out of her bag and handed it to him with tears in her eyes. Jim, Lee, and Brian each signed the shirt before Brian hugged her and said, "thanks for sticking with us after all these years." Lee said, "thanks to ALL of you for sticking with us after all these years!"

Brian raised a glass and yelled, "ROCKABILLY RULES!"

They all hoisted their glasses. "OK!!"

The Cats put on another stellar show that night. The Australian friends stayed in contacts for weeks afterwards, comparing notes on each of their personal experiences. Months later, each of the four fans received a parcel in the mail: an enlarged glossy copy of the group photo taken that night, signed by the Stray Cats.

Rockabilly Rules, OK!


Hey, I'm not saying it's gonna happen, but it's fun to imagine!

Who said it ain't gonna happen??

Very good Andi! I believe if ya ain't got something to dream for, then you're leading a very boring life!

Here's to you, Kid, Rene and the Aussie contingent Rocking it up in Feb!!

Oh yeah, and to the rest of my friends here as well!!

Cheers Pete.

P.S. Where we meeting beforehand?

andi wrote:

Here's one for Pete, Kid and René. And me.

Holy Crap!!! I best get me backside up to the sweltering state in Feb

pony65k wrote:

Holy Crap!!! I best get me backside up to the sweltering state in Feb

What?! You mean to say you weren't planning on coming??

Pete, there's a pizza place called Lucky's on Brunswick St. in Brissie. I haven't been, but maybe Kid can let us know if that'd be a goer.

If we wish hard enough, who knows.

Don't worry Andi, I'll drag Rene along!

Nah, the best pizzas are made in Japan

Haha great story Andi - 'cept when I turn around and see the 3 Cats standing there I don't think you should have me pouring the beers, my hands will be shaking like an earthquake!


Kid.

Oh DAMN! I just realised I forgot to include your first words to Brian being, " 'sup, B-Rock?"

I'll have to work on a rewrite.

andi wrote:

Oh DAMN! I just realised I forgot to include your first words to Brian being, " 'sup, B-Rock?"

I'll have to work on a rewrite.

Haha! I forgot all about that!

Brian is just gonna think I'm craaaaaazy

thank you Pete, very much for those kind words!
yes we should all have something to dream for, I have had dreams ever since I can remember but was afraid to tell people about them thinking I am nuts or something, lol

hope all of your dreams come true too
and yes, you should all meet at the pizza place and send us Pics andi pleeeaaase!!! *pretty please?*

Kelley

I can't remember why on earth I wrote that about "the pizzas in Japan"...
Guess I was pretty steamed when I did it...

Kelley, do you think we woul all fit at your dwelling??
I beg you to sit down next to me - we must talk about many things
Love ya!

;-)

um Jon I only beg for one man to sit next to me, or me on top of his lap lol

I know that man it's me ;-) THANKS HUN!